I just got back from Brent's weekend birthday bash. He turned 30 today, which made it a very special occasion! We had dinner at The Boathouse in Asheville, and the food was excellent. Brent's steak, which he let me sample, was fantastic. My atlantic salmon with basil pesto wasn't bad either. After that, I joined Brent, Marci, Kevin, Lydia, Doug, Mary, Matt, Gretchen, David Kendall, and Andrius for a campfire. The Terrys and Forsythes went home that night, but the rest of us stayed to camp. I only just got back from camping, so I'm a little tired. But it was a very very good time. Hopefully, Kevin Zinn puts up pictures soon...



Bernard Is Too Sleepy And Hungry To Make Fun Of Anything

Sunday, Nov 9, 2003, KNOXVILLE: After a weekend of celebration and outdoor fun, Bernard Ng came home and sat in front of his computer with the intent of updating his weblog, only to realize that he was too tired to write anything even remotely amusing.

"It was a sham", Mr Ng said, "I sat there for a good half hour, checking my email, surfing the web, and waiting for Adrian to log onto MSN messenger to say something that looks funny out of context, like he usually does.... nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing inspired me or looked funny. I blamed it on sleepiness at first. Then I saw Amy's post where she says "Today's story is brought to you by hunger...", and then I figured it might be that too. I've had four bananas, three whole wheat pancakes for breakfast, and then ramen and steamed vegetables for lunch, and now it's 5 o'clock and I'm hungry again. I wish mom was here to cook for me."

Witnesses at Mr Ng's Lab claim that during the time he spent there, from approximately 4:00pm to 5:30pm in the afternoon, he reacted grumpily to inquiries and was skimming through what were apparently scans, in jpg format, of Hong Kong-produced comicbooks. Occasionally he would mumble audibly to himself and make sudden, violent gestures to no one in particular. After 5:30pm, he went home.

Labmate Michaël Roy was noticeably agitated. "Ce gars est effrayant…", he said, "Il doit avoir son café du matin, sinon ça va pas le faire !".

None of the lab's faculty members could be reached for comment.

Well, it's official: 10-1 is Amy's weblog. Today, she tells us about how not to get busted and the incorrect way to respond to getting busted. Cops telling potheads how to behave... what will they think of next?


LCK's Grand Purpose In Life, Part II
This is what LCK is building:







"Gerbang Perdana" means Prime Gateway. In LCK's own words: "this is what we are trying to construct. the 1st 2 pictures u put up on your blog page is the leaf truss which will be supporting the roof structures. on the scale model, the leaf trusses are the ones on both sides (left & right) of the main building."

From what I can tell from the article, this thing is intended to be the new customs, immigration and quarantine (CIQ) complex for the Integrated Southern Gateway project in Johor Bahru, which will be the new entry point that stands between Singapore and Malaysia. However, immigration business is not all that this is being built for, not with all the recent disputes with Singapore over water prices and ownership of small rocks with lighthouses on them. In addition to all the usual office space and high-security strip-search areas, the Gerbang Perdana will also house and be capable of firing ground-to-ground missiles at our neighbour's most vital strategic targets (Orchard Road and every major DKNY outlet) should they attempt any acts of hostility. In the event of a full-scale invasion from our presumptuous Singlish-spouting friends, the Gerbang Perdana will transform into a 1500-foot robot, dubbed Immigration Prime, that will fight in the defense of our great nation. The Singaporeans will most likely just laugh at our thousand-ton monstrosity and put an end to its cumbersomely impractical existence by blowing it's legs apart, or - God forbid - running around it. But we're building this thing anyway... because Malaysia Boleh.


Artist's conception of the Gerbang Perdana in robot form towering thriumphantly over the Singapore skyline.


This is Your Brain Under An American-Led Occupation
My earliest big exposure to the world of blogging was probably Salam Pax's blog. Also known as the Baghdad Blogger, Salam Pax gained a small measure of fame for his first-hand, candid observations before, during, and after the American invasion of Iraq. Lately, his blogging has been somewhat sporadic. But his latest blog entry got me wondering... "what's he smoking?"

'A' has started a weblog! Who is 'A'? Well, it's either Amy the Cop, Adrian the Palm Tree, or some random person I've never met, though that's unlikely, as far as I can tell. If it's Amy (more likely, since the weblog doesn't attribute blame to ber*nerd*), then we can expect to hear stories of Franklin's granny-shoving deviants straight from the horse's mouth. If it's Adrian (he learned to spell my name... yay), then we'll hear stories of minimum-wage life in Malaysia and all the fun travesties of existence that come herewith. If it's some random person... errr more power to you?

LCK's Grand Purpose In Life

My friend Low Chun Kiat, who's a civil engineer in Johor Bahru (I think) sent me these two pics of what I assume is a project he's working on. OK LCK, but do tell us what this... thing... is.








Pak Lah Gives His First Press Conference As PM.


"DUDE... GET A BREATHMINT": Pak Lah chastices reporters for their lack of oral hygiene during his first press conference as Prime Minister.

From The Star: "Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has directed government departments to cut red tape and strengthen the civil service to fight corruption and deliver quality service to the rakyat.
The Prime Minister proposed that each ministry set up a task force to look at ways to reduce bureaucracy in all departments under them because inefficiency could breed corruption.
He also directed the re-engineering of all district offices and local councils to rid them of “unwieldy bureaucratic procedures” that could tempt people to commit bribery."

I'm glad to hear that. Hope something comes of it!

My good friend Ryu has agreed to take some time off his vigorous training schedule, which involves climbing cliffs and meditating amongst falling leaves and waterfalls, to sit up there behind my site and look out at visitors with a very very pissed expression. Feel free to *beg for your miserable life* or *point and laugh* before you look at everything else. Ryu doesn't like to be ignored.


Ryu's Bio

Name: Ryu. Just Ryu. (Pronounced 'Roo')
Marital Status: Single
Occupation: No official occupation. As far as most people can tell, he's a hobo.
Hobby: Streetfighting
Likes: Meditating on the true meaning of 'Fight'.
Dislikes: Long-term goals, apparently.

History:
Ryu is the premier karate-man-in-a-karate-gi of fighting games. Ever since his appearance in the groundbreaking, coin-gobbling Streetfighter II, he has been the target of numerous knock-offs, vying for a piece of his glory. Everything the man does has been copied in some form or other by other fighting-game hero wannabes: his clothes, his techniques, even the way he yells his moves everytime he performs them, with total abandon, void of self-consciousness or thoughts of "gee, I must sound silly sometimes".

Because of Ryu, just about every fighting game in existence today has a character that throws a projectile, performs an anti-aerial uppercut, or has a technique that's performed using the ubiquitous forward,down,down-forward joystick motion. Because of Ryu, kids all over the world in the early nineties confused their parents by screaming "Aaaaaare yooou Ken?!" before laying the smackdown on their play buddies, even when said buddies were named Ah Beng or Timothy or something that resembled 'Ken' not in the least. Because of Ryu, the sales of white karate gis goes up any time there's a gamers convention or city parade that gives videogame fans an excuse to get crazy.

But enough about his fans and imitators... what of the man himself? Ryu's personality can be described as quiet, thoughtful, and resolute. It is this last trait that has made him one the greatest fighters, if not the greatest, in videogame history. He is pure, focused, and single-minded in his pursuit to unify his mind, body and technique. He does not fight to win... he fights to understand the true nature of the fight.

The best way to understand Ryu, though, is not by examining his philosphy, but by looking at the company he keeps. To summarize:

Ken: Blonde, American, and decidedly louder than his brother-in-training, Ken had been with Ryu right from the beginning, training under the same master at a secluded dojo in Japan. While Ryu has always been more conserved and strategic in his approach to fighting, Ken has never balked at attacking right from the get-go, and sho-ryu-kenning three times in a row even when there's nobody there to hit. He of the Funky Kicks and the Shin-OhMyLordDidYouSeeThat-Ryuken could always be relied on to keep Ryu or any other opponent on his/her toes with his relentless assault of high-damage combos. He is also filthy rich, being the son of a billionaire. In spite of his millions, however, he has only worn one thing on the battlefield: his tattered red karate gi.

Sakura: A normal, teenage schoolgirl who one day sees Ryu fighting in a duel, Sakura develops an instant crush on our hero and decides to get his attention by... becoming a streetfighter! Donning a headband and focusing her mind, she achieves the impossible, creating her own rough derivations of Ryu's moves with no external help whatsoever, as well as various techniques of her own (many of which, conveniently, allows any onlookers a generous view of her knickers). She now pursues Ryu wherever he goes, hoping one day that he will take her on as his apprentice, if you *wink-wink* know what I mean.

Um, and that's it really. Make of that what you will.



Unnecessary Hypothetical Situation #1
Suppose Ryu met Scooby-Doo and Shaggy and they didn't know who Ryu was. Their conversation might go something like this:

Scooby: Who are roo?
Ryu: That's grammatically incorrect. You should say "Who is Ryu?"
Scooby: Hrrr?
Shaggy: Don't blame him Scoob. He's Japanese, and he's trying to tell us how to speak English! Hey, can you say 'All your base are belong to us?'
Scooby: Ehehehehehehe!
Shaggy: Bwahahahahaha!
Ryu: Shinkuuu..... HADOOOKEN!!!
Scooby and Shaggy: Aiiiiieeeee!!!!!!.............




...And that wraps up our introduction Ryu. Til next time!

"Don't Ask Silly Questions, I Won't Play Silly Games..."

Since about the middle of summer, I've been reading Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. I've enjoyed it very much, and it has turned out to be more fun to read than Harry Potter, so much so that it is my official reason for not having read The Order Of The Phoenix yet. The *real* reason is I've forgotten what happened in the four Harry Potter books prior. Some may suggest I go back and re-read those four books, to which I say: "Bring on the movies!". And while I'm on that subject, has anyone else noticed that, in the early production stills from Prisoner of Azkaban, Emma Watson is starting to look really cute?

Er.

Yes, well, back to the topic. The Dark Tower is really good, and I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't heard of it yet and doesn't mind diving into a good helping of fantasy/horror schlock. Yes, schlock. I mean, that's what it is... but it's *fun* schlock, so don't let that categorization deter you. Stephen King has created an interesting cast and constructed a fascinating world for them to do stuff in. He's also spun a pretty good quest yarn, so far, which is a good thing, since LOTR would have been much less interesting if all Frodo and Co. did was hunt mushrooms and listen to Aragorn sing. Thankfully, The Dark Tower's gunslinger and friends (or ka-tet as he calls them) do a whole lot more than shroom and sing. In fact, they don't hardly ever sing, which gives them a one-up on everyone's favorite elf-smitten hero.

I say 'so far' because, as many fans know, the full series hasn't been released yet. The Dark Tower series is something like 20+ years old now... the first book (The Gunslinger) came out in 1980 or thereabouts, and the fourth one (Wizard and Glass) in 1996. That's an awful long wait for fans for the series, which is why I count myself lucky to have only gotten into the books this year, the year that Stephen King has announced the last three books in the series are finished.

Yup! Book 5, Wolves of the Calla is out in bookstores, and both Book 6:The Song of Susannah and Book 7:The Dark Tower will be released next year. So if you are one of those poor folk who were kept waiting since Wizard and Glass came out six years ago, and you've been living under a rock since then, (and the first thing you did when you crawled out of that rock was find an internet connection and come to this site... um, good for you!) I'm letting you know that now's the time to jump back in!

"I do not aim with my hand.
He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I aim with my Eye.
I do not shoot with my hand.
He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I shoot with my Mind.
I do not kill with my hand.
He who kills with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I kill with my Heart."
--The Gunslinger's Catechism, by Stephen King

Admission Standards At Harvard Must Be Dropping

My friend Amy has had quite a few run-ins with the interesting and highly-educated folk of Franklin, TN, since she started her stint as a cop. Her favorite story (I think): One night she hauls in an obviously smashed 20-something fellow to court for public intoxication. The dude, still thoroughly wasted, claims, among other things, to be a student at Harvard (apparently all drunks claim to be attending some prestigious law school when facing the magistrate).

When the magistrate tells him he needs to pay the bond agency 10% of $500 so he won't have to sit in a cell until his court date, he replies something along the lines of "Whuzzat?".

Just about any high-school dropout should be able to tell you what 10% of $500 is, so the magistrate says "I thought you went to Harvard."

"Yeah... but not for *math*."

Hi Adrian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what else is there to do on a Sunday?

Adrian's MSN Quote Of The Week: "hmm not sure if the gyros can compensate u when ur making out."