Thursday, April 15, 2010

Minor Variations

With apologies to just about everyone…

Pentecostals: “Name It And Claim It!”

Reformed: “Name It And Settle For Whatever God Was Going To Give You In The First Place.”

Charismatics: “Name It But In Another Language Nobody Understands, Including Yourself. And Only God Knows If You're Claiming It Or Saying Something Else Entirely.”

Roman Catholics: “Name It And Pick A Patron Saint For It If One Doesn’t Already Exist.”

Mega-Church Evangelical: “Name It, Create A Targeted Group Meeting For It, And Encourage Everyone In The Congregation To Plug Into The Group That Meets Their Needs.”

Small-Church Evangelical: “Name It And Try To Avoid Mistakes Suburban Mega-Church Evangelicals Make When They Go About Claiming It.”

Emergent:  “Name It And Claim It. Or Invite Others To Join You In Claiming It. Or Write A Poem About It. Or Ask It Out For Lunch. Or Tie A Bow On It.”