My Wife For Hire!

I've started playing Starcraft again! Yes, yes, observe the slow downwardly spiralling course my life is taking. Last year it was Warcraft III... ok, fairly hot, happening game there, and I'm still kinda cool. Then it was No One Lives Forever 2... Alright, maybe nobody plays that anymore, but it's a good game, and good games never die. Then it was MU... hmm free Korean Diablo clone, complete with shatting system, what more should I say. And now...

Starcraft!!!

I'm not alone in it either. There's three other people at NL who are playing it, which is the reason I'm playing it. Aah, it's back to the good old days, when a 5x5 pixel cloaked unit was all you needed to strike fear into the hearts of your opponents, who'd forgotten to build missile turrets around their supply line. When rounding up your SCVs right at the start of the match and attacking the other fella was a viable strategy on Blood Bath. When the sight of twelve lumbering Carriers drew shocked exclamations of "How'd he get all that?!", "Oh sh*t gg", and "OMFG that's so lame".

This is the game many consider to be the pinnacle of the RTS genre. This is the game that gave us the perennial online rallying cry, "gogogo". This is the game that taught millions of unsuspecting Americans that Korean gamers are actually aliens from another planet with sixteen fingers an each hand, and two brains.

Starcraft... hmm, I'm wasting precious gaming time here.

En Taro Adun! My Life For Aiur!

Phew. I've been moved again, this time to the War Room. Curtis wanted me to attend the Visual FoxPro tutorials he's giving there on a semi-regular basis, and figured he might as well have all the people who need to attend it be in the same room. At least that's what he said. I think it's all a plot to take me away from my comfortable little cubicle. :p

That said, the War Room offers more space to talk, breath, and goof off in general. Plus I don't feel like everyone who walks behind me can see what I'm doing. Not that I surf porn or anything (that I hear is Travis's domain), but it's just good to know who's looking at you. I took a panoramic view of my new desk with my camera, which I will proudly display on another page since it's so big. Here it is. Yes, the Autobots are still at their posts, keeping those pesky Decepticons at bay.

It's looking more and more like they want me here... Jay (the R&D manager) talked to me today about moving me from test automation to something a little meatier. I hope that happens... I like the Emac, but you can only get so far writing scripts for testing. I also got to talking about my H1 visa issues with Jay. Apparently we're right at the end of the fiscal year, so applying for an H1 now would be close to pointless... the next year begins in September. I don't know how their HR folks will want to go about it if they decide to hire me, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

So I've a couple of concerns on my mind now, but what else is new. I suppose that now I'm finally out of school, it's time to worry about these things. But just to put things in perspective... we all have our burdens to bear, and right now few folks I know have as much to deal with as Erin Housam, who was just diagnosed with cancer last month. Before you go "aaw... poor Erin", and maybe you should, but Erin's not the type who lets this sort of thing cramp her style. It helps that she's certifiably insane, and so doesn't realize how miserable she should be. You can get to know her if you'd like, at Erin's blog, which she started because she still needs to talk regardless of illness. Gretchen Paxton helps Erin out a lot, so whenever Erin's unable to update for a while, she'll put a word in, which is why she's listed as a blog team member. I helped set it up, which is why I'm listed as a blog member... I don't expect to have to post anything there unless both she and Gretchen are incapacitated for some reason.

That's it for now. I'm going to go watch Shrek 2 tonite. If any of you guys watch it too, let me know your thoughts on the tag-board. As Chun Kiat (and the rest of you) can attest with his bleeding eyes, I respond to comments :).

I was reading the online version of The Star today (the Malaysian publication, not the US rag), and I saw this.

Why didn't they have all these fun extra-curricular activities when *I* was in secondary school?

With thanks to Adrian:

Try this!

With thanks to Ken Heintz.

With thanks to Amy... I think she's Republican btw:


Question: How do you tell the difference between democrats, republicans and southern republicans?

Answer. Pose the following scenario:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.  You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?



 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------



 Democrat's Answer:

 Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

 Does the man look poor or Oppressed?

 Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

 Could we run away?

 What does my wife think?

 What about the kids?

 Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

 What does the law say about this situation?

 Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
 
 Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

 Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

 Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to woundme?

 If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

 Should I call 9-1-1?

 Why is this street so deserted?

 We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

 This is all so confusing!

 I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.




 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------




 Republican's Answer:

 BANG!




 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------




 Southern Republican's Answer:

 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...(sounds of reloading).

 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click




 Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??

I still haven't got the good wedding pics yet... I must remember to ask Brent when I see him next. They just got back on Saturday night so they probably need a while to settle in. They don't even have a proper bed yet... Brent came to take the futon from the apartment last night so that's what they are sleeping on for now. One I get the pics I can update their wedding site.

In the meantime I might upload some of the wedding pictures I got with my camera. Today, I'm just gonna recycle something old... this is a poem I wrote for Kevin Zinn's birthday last year in August. Parts of it make more sense if you actually know Kevin, but it's a fun kiddy read even if you don't :p.

One day in the kingdom of Pimpernelpin
The King's house was in uproar; oh, what a din!
"My Scepter is gone, wrought of diamond and tin!"
"And my Robe and my Crown and all the Things I Was In!"
When the King had stopped wailing, his Wizard pitched in,
"Summon Great Kevin, The Great Kevin Zinn!"

"Who is this Kevin?" asked the King with a frown,
"I know all in my kingdom, from the foxholes to town"
The Wizard said naught, but with a jump and a clap,
He made a loud thunder and a very bright zap,
And there in the throne room, quite tall and quite thin,
Stood the Great Kevin, the Great Kevin Zinn!

"Hi" said Great Kevin in a manner most plain
Dressed in a golf-T and Birkenstocks twain
And shorts round his waist in a nondescript way
The King pondered his guest and knew not what to say
"WHO'S THIS!?" he demanded, "Who's not of Pimpernelpin?!"
"Just I", answered Kevin, "The Great Kevin Zinn!"

"GREAT?!" scoffed the King, "You're yanking my chain,"
"You don't look the part! You're so painfully plain!"
"Are you a Knight? Where's your Armor and Sword?"
"Where's your Steed and your Squire, and the Crest of your Lord?"
"Are you a Captain? Where's your Saber and Flag?"
"Are you Kriss Kringle? Where's your Belly and Bag?!"

"I require a Warrior, not some penniless bard!"
"I require a Champion, not some random blackguard!"
"A Prince richly regaled, with a Bellow That Rings,"
"Who will capture the thief who has taken my Things,"
"That by me should be worn, and my next-of-kin..."
"What makes you so Great, oh 'Great' Kevin Zinn?"

Great Kevin stood silent, but the Wiz rose to say,
"O King, has my counsel ever led you astray?"
"In times of great famine, did I not guide to the feast?"
"We've prevailed in all wars, though our numbers were least."
"Have I been found wanting, that you should doubt in"
"My assurance that this, is the Great Kevin Zinn?"

"Oh, fine", said the King with a reluctant 'harrumph',
And stepped back and plopped back in his throne with a 'thumph',
"Tell me", he said in a manner still gruff,
"How do you propose to retrieve all my Stuff?
But Kevin just stood there, and he "hmmm"ed, and he "hmmm"ed
and he "hmmm"ed, and he "hmmm"ed, and he "hmmm"ed, and he "hmmm"ed.

The King grew impatient and his face grew more gaunt,
And just 'fore he blew, Kev said "Are you sure what you want?"
"I mean, you're the King, by birth and by right"
"By your hand your land prospered through many a night"
"You've turned both your ears to counsel so wise"
"And are loved by your people, and done right in their eyes"

Taken aback, the King sputtered at first,
From one dressed so simple, he'd expected much worse.
He said "What you say may very well be"
"I've acted quite Kingly for my subjects to see"
"And I suppose," He appended, when he saw the Wiz smile,
"My counselors have borne me through many a mile."

"But a King must look Kingly!" he insisted with airs
"Not just by his deeds, but by what he wears!"
"What's a King with no Robe, and no Scepter, or Crown?"
"Why, no one could tell me from the beggar in town!"
"Answer!" said the King, as he wrinkled his chin
"Answer me, Kevin, o Great Kevin Zinn!"

"Well, look", said Kev gently, his arms spread abreast
"Do I look mighty, or splendid, or best?"
"And yet your own Wizard you call noble and true"
"Has approved me already - twice over - to you."
"Now I don't claim to be greatest in any one thing,"
"I'm just little 'ol Kevin, 'ol Kevin Zinn."

"So, what's your point?" the King tilted his head
(And looked at Kev sideways, like that might answer instead)
But Kevin looked distant as he thought for a pause
And finally said "You know what, I forgot what it was."
"But, oh shoot, I've a deadline to meet tomorrow"
"And yard-work to finish... I really should go."

"Hey Wizard, I'm sorry, I really can't stay,"
"Could you do what you do, and send me on my way?"
The Wizard just nodded, then whooped like a dame,
And Kevin was gone in the same way he came.
Silence came over all of Pimpernelpin,
As though to say "Gone, is the Great Kevin Zinn!"

The King turned, and in earnest he asked of the Wiz
"Is he truly Great?", and was told, "Yes, he is."
"Well then!" the King said, "Summon my flock!"
"Summon this cobbler they call Birkenstock!"
"Make me ten wardrobes of golf-T's and shorts!"
"And supply all my castles and all of my forts!"

From then on the King ruled, as he had before
But now gave no thought to the Things that he wore
He was gayer and all of the people with him
Felt eased with the King, who looked a regular Jim
And none of this would have happened in Pimpernelpin
If not for Great Kevin, the Great Kevin Zinn!

Hmm... It looks like Angelfire's not letting me access my images from a remote location anymore. Didn't take long to fix though: just told Blogger to publish via FTP to Angelfire, and re-edited my blogger site template to hold a meta redirect tag pointing to Angelfire. So *really*... you're looking at an Angelfire page now.

*Cue Twilight Zone theme*

It takes forever to load now, for some reason... maybe because it's now a programmitically generated html page on Angelfire. Blech. And now the tag-board is acting up, but I suspect that's a different issue altogether, because I can't access tag-board.com anyway... must be their server going "Huh?".

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Well Brent and Marci are finally married and enjoying their honeymoon at St John, the Virgin Islands. I've got the apartment to myself which means I don't shut the door when I'm in the shower and I take a little longer to put my clothes on right after. Sometimes a lot longer. Hey, if you don't need to, why bother? Weather's been warm for the most part. It *has* been cold the past two days, though, which has me slightly peeved. It dipped all the way down to 47 degrees last night. It's May for pete's sake!

But I digress... I'm not going to say much about the wedding, yet, and I'm not even going to show the choice pictures, since I haven't got access the to ones the wedding photogrpaher took (and may not for a while), and the good ones I do have I'm going to put up on their wedding site, when I've put them all together. Don't go there now. They're not there yet. Well, unless you're just curious. In which case go on right ahead.

In the meanwhile, here are some photos I took the day before, during the wedding rehearsal:


The wedding took place at the Museum of Appalachia, so naturally the rehearsal was held there too. The museum is more like a ranch, with a lot of great animals running around freely. The specimen above and right, as far as I could tell was a chicken. A freaky hairy chicken. It was a pretty congenial chicken though, so that altered meat tv ad doesn't apply here. The two birds on the left were female peacocks. You had to be careful when you pulled into the parking lot, because those birds acted like they owned the road.


A panorama of the back of the museum.


This is Kateland, Brent's niece. She's really into knock-knock jokes, but she didn't get the one I told her that day:

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Control freak. Okaynowyousay"Controlfreakwho?".


A male peacock. This guy was shifty. I first saw him on the ground and when I tried to walk up to him for a close-up shot, he kept backing off. I gave up after a while and turned around to look for something more interesting to shoot, and when I turned back to him, he'd somehow gotten onto that tree stump, and was pulling that majestic pose. *Then* he let me get close for a picture. Go figure.


Duck! Duck!


The Man Himself. The look says it all.


And now, last, but not least, a classic case study of the difference between man and woman.

The Bridesmaids On Rehearsal Day:


"Ooh ooh we should do this" "No that" "We'd look great like this" "Oh yes yes"


The Groomsmen On Rehearsal Day:


"...mmmmm...Doritos..."

That's all for now!