The Malaysian Christmas Carol Medley (performed for Rachel's between-the-holidays party)

I'm dreaming of a warm christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where there were no blizzards, we just wore t-shirts
And used styrofoam bits as our snow

I'm dreaming of a warm christmas
with every e-card that I write
Who's the guy who first settled so far north
Well he could not have been very bright

***

Well the weather outside is frightful
And I'm feeling mighty spiteful
If it gets above 40 below
Let me know, let me know, let me know!

I'm a human I'm not a Yeti
I don't mind if Santa's sweaty
Once it's warm outside, I'll go
Let me know, let me know, let me know!

I've got the heater now set to high
And a months worth of ramen I've stored
Please don't ask me to come outside
I've got Sega so I won't be bored

So go ahead and play your frisbee
It's not like anyone will miss me
When I won't freeze from head to toe
Let me know, let me know, let me know!

***

Sleigh bells ring are you listenin'
No I'm not, my ears are frozen in
My nose and feet too, and I'm turning blue
And I cannot feel my fingers or my hands

Gone away is the blue bird
And he gave me a good word
"Just do what I've done, Cause it's never fun
When you cannot feel your fingers or your hands"

What is up with all this needless suff'ring?
I asked Brent and this is what he told
"Winter makes you feel like you're really living!"
"No", I said, "it only makes me cold"

And makes me want to conspire
To set the whole town on fire
I would if I could, but I can't light the wood
I cannot feel my fingers or my hands

What the devil made me come and live here
The idea was as crazy as it sounds
Everyone should live on the equator
Just what the hell is wrong with all you clowns?

Well I hope you're all happy
With your weather so crappy
I can't play much more, and you all know what for
I cannot feel my fingers or my hands
I cannot
feel my fingers
or my haaands