Saturday, June 05, 2004

It's Time To D-D-D-D-D-D... Um, Time To See A Speech Therapist.

I have a confession to make. Well no, not really, because anyone who knows me reasonably well knows I watch Saturday morning cartoons. But that's my confession, that I watch Saturday morning cartoons. I just sat through another episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! (the exclamation point is part of the title), which is the only TV show I know which has an exclamation point in the title. That probably tells you a lot about the show already. It also happens to be my favorite Saturday morning cartoon. That probably tells you a little too much about me.

There used to be prefectly legitimate cartoons to like on Saturday mornings. Batman Beyond was a good example. That was a great cartoon: engaging plots, vivid themes, brilliant characterizations, and gobs of perfectly-timed dry humor. They used to review it every week on IGN, when they had a sci-fi TV section. Brent and I mourned its loss when it went away. Assumedly a lot of the creative talent migrated to Justice League, which only showed on Cartoon Network, and so we didn't get to see that.

Other good shows: Big Guy and Rusty (why didn't this show last longer?), Jackie Chan Adventures (much better than his recent movies, go figure), and, um, actually that's all I can remember. Currently the closest thing we have in the mold of JLA and Batman Beyond is Teen Titans, which is a fun cartoon in it's own right, but a little too different from its predecessors for me. They've taken a japanimation approach to its presentation, complete with giant sweat drops and oversized eyeballs. The intro song is actually fairly entertaining. When I first heard it I thought it was in Japanese. A few weeks later I listened closely and realized it was in English, sung in a heavy Japanese accent. I laughed pretty hard and clapped.

So right now, my favorite cartoon is Yu-Gi-Oh!, which airs on WB at 11:00 am. There's no good way to talk about this cartoon without calling my credibility as a thinking human being into question. I'll do it in FAQ format, because it's easiest that way.

What's Yu-Gi-Oh! about?
School kids playing a card game, with multi-million dollar corporations and the fate of the world at stake. Lots of Egyptian pseudo-mythology thrown in for good measure.

Why does it have an exclamation mark in the title?
Assumedly to make the work of hentai writers easier ("Yugi! Oh! Yugi! Oh!"). I don't know.

I don't understand the title of this blog entry.
Listen to the show's intro music.

Why do you like it?
I'm not sure I do... I just can't stop watching it. It's like a fat naked woman. It's ugly as hell, but you can't look away.

That's not very helpful.
Okay, okay. It's bright, it's colorful, it's over-the-top and corny has heck, and you can't help but enjoy it. Unless you're epileptic. I used to play Magic The Gathering, and it was fun to spoof the show's protaganist and his overdramatized plays.

Player A: I play... A Mountain!
Player B: What???!!!
Player A: Yes, now I am able to use Red mana! You are about the witness the power of the Red Magician! Behold! I summon... THE JACKAL PUP!
Player B: NOT SO FAST!!! You've forgotten I have two untapped islands! And any amateur Magic player would know that can only mean one thing... Counterspell! Target his Jackal Pup spell! Now your Jackal Pup goes straight to the graveyard!
Player A: No! I was hoping to end this duel quickly! But now his control strategy is falling into place! I promised my uncle, my friends, and my dog who is in a coma that I'd win this duel for them! (cue flashback scene to when dog is hit by Player B's car and goes into a coma)

And so on and so forth.

Should I watch it too?
Um, no. I may be damned, but I don't have to take you good people with me.

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