Friday, November 14, 2003

In case you don't pay attention to Dave Barry's blog, November the 16th is World Toilet Day. Be sure to visit their website.

How Brad Starts His Day Right

Brrr. It was cold in Knoxville today. People were wearing jackets and things. Not my favorite way to start the morning, freezing my touche off the moment I step out of my blanket and hit the floor... but it gets easier as the winter goes on. Brad had a much better start though, if his story was anything to go by.

He was hungry on his way to work, so he stopped at the McDonald's on Chapman Highway. He rolls into the drive through and orders a $2 sandwich. All he has is a twenty, and when the lady at the counter brings him his change, its this obscene stack of eighteen or so dirty, crumply $1s. "Here's your change!" she says chirpily.

Brad looks at the smelly bundle, then looks up and asks "Don't you have any tens or fives?"

"No, we're all out."

"Did you look in the other cash register? Maybe there's some in there."

"No, that's all there is."

Brad's a little incredulous. "What is this, Germany after the fall?! How can you not have any proper change? You guys *just opened*."

The poor lady's a little distraught now. "... I don't know. That's all there was when I got here."

The manager hears the commotion and comes over. He asks Brad what the problem is, and Brad tells him.

"Sorry sir", the manager says, "but we don't have any tens or fives right now."

"You guys are the biggest food chain in the US, and you're telling me you don't have any change?!"

The line of cars behind Brad is starting to pile up while Brad, the manager and the lady have it out. "Well what do you want us to do?" asks the manager, who obviously majored in diplomacy.

"Well, go to Wal-Mart and get me some change." So much for diplomacy.

Finally the lady asks Brad, "Are you gonna take this change or not?!"

"No", our hero replies.

"Fine!" and the lady snatches all the bills back to put in the register.

"But I still need my change."

"What!?" The lady is in fits.

"I need my change, or I'm gonna go get the cops here and have em arrest you." Brad's grinning at this point. He's just having fun.

The tortured, abused lady starts throwing a fit, telling everyone how much she hates this job, she's gonna quit, etc, etc. The manager probably wasn't enjoying himself either. There's also a long line of cars wrapped around McDonald's at this point. The manager pleads with him one last time to please just take the change.

"Oh, all right", says Brad, pockets the change, and drives off to work.

So, whose day have you ruined today?

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